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You’re a hopeless romantic looking for love.
You’re someone who does things with purpose and intention. You take action. You’re fiercely committed to dating and creating the relationship you’ve always longed for.
You know you want to build your life with someone special. But one thing isn’t clear: how to find this person. You want a long-term relationship, but you keep dating people who ghost, pull away, or suddenly change their minds.
The incredible relationship you want feels like a far-fetched dream.
Every time you get on the dating apps it feels more and more disappointing and hopeless. You’re wondering if you’re asking for too much, yet at the same time your gut is telling you to keep trying...
You feel stuck dating people who don’t want commitment and desperately wish you had a clear path to build a long-term relationship with some solid answers. Dreaming about your ideal partner is one thing. Making your dream relationship into a reality is another. Let’s turn your dream into a reality together!
Hey there, I'm Gabby Valdes.
I was stuck dating people who couldn’t commit to me as much as I committed to them, and I’ve come out on the other side. I’m a dating coach for singles who are ready to finally find their person! I believe the dream relationship you’ve always longed for is 100% possible.
You know your current dating approach isn’t working, but you have no idea what to do instead. I help you become attracted to people who are a good fit for you, so you can finally find a long-term partner to share your life with.
Ever since age 5, the year my parents divorced, I knew I wanted a fairytale relationship with someone special.
The separation was hard on me. And to make things worse, I was criticized for being too sensitive, emotional, and intense as a kid. I quickly learned that it was bad to have emotions or get attached too quickly.
I carried these hurtful beliefs into my teenage years. While my friends had the easiest time finding boyfriends, I struggled and often found myself chasing after guys who wanted to keep our relationship a secret.
I thought love was a game and the winner was the person who cared less. So I spent years beating myself up for getting attached too quickly. I thought something was wrong with me because I always wanted more and they didn’t.
It wasn’t until college that I started dating guys who were open to being in a relationship. Even though we were together, they still struggled to introduce me to their friends, communicate their feelings, talk about marriage, or prioritize me. Our relationship always came second to their career and friends.
While my mom told me to not worry about boys and instead to focus on my career, I refused to live a life without meaningful and deep relationships. I longed to find my person.
I finally met someone who wanted commitment as much as I did when I was 24! It was a great feeling after spending years trying to win people over. We were about to get engaged and then… our relationship ended.
Even though he was committed to me, I felt alone in our relationship. I knew something was off about us from the beginning but ignored my gut because this was the first guy who ever wanted marriage and kids with me. I broke things off and started taking dating seriously.
My Struggle to Find Love
Even though I wanted to find my person, I was stuck dating people who wanted to casually see where things went. For the next 2 years, I found myself cycling through 3-month situationships that always ended in heartbreak. I was frustrated and confused. Even though I was dating someone new, I was still running into the same problems.
I would date people who wouldn’t share their feelings. They didn’t like texting or hanging out regularly. They were way too busy with work and didn’t have time for a relationship. I would always be there for them when things in their life were hard, but they couldn’t reciprocate when things were tough for me. I settled for minimal effort and crumbs because they were an upgrade from people I previously dated.
They weren’t bad people either! They were ambitious, well-dressed, physically fit, and charismatic. Even though I was wildly attracted to them and they were kind (most of the time), I felt like garbage when I wasn’t with them. My anxiety would act up because I was afraid I would mess things up and scare them off. Dating them felt like an emotional roller coaster. And instead of listening to my anxiety, I spent months thinking I was the problem and ignoring my gut feelings. I made soooooo many excuses for them too.
I spent months bending over backward trying to make things work. It was exhausting! I felt like I was pulling teeth trying to get them to open up to me. They never did. But somehow I still ended up being their therapist... My love life felt draining and hopeless. I constantly felt anxious and wanted to give up on dating every day.
I would get attached really quickly and would have an incredibly tough time during breakups. I didn’t want to keep investing too much in a person, only to have them leave.
Everything changed in 2019 when I found the PERFECT guy. He checked off all of my boxes. He was entrepreneurial, spiritual, emotional, and self-aware. Our connection was magical.
He made an effort to get to know me. He planned dates. We saw each other 2-3 times a week. We talked about our feelings. He asked me to be his girlfriend after 3 weeks of dating. He even asked me to be his date for a friend's wedding 3 months out. It was easy.
One night we were having a deep conversation about the future. He told me he really liked me and that he’s never felt this close to another person before. I was on cloud nine.
Three days later he dumped me.
So there I was, picking up the pieces of my heart after another failed 3-month relationship. It hurt so much because he ended things so abruptly. One minute, he was telling me how important I was to him and the next day he broke things off.
The worst part was seeing him after the breakup and him acting like we never dated. It crushed me how cold and distant he was. I was crying in my car after seeing him one day when I realized something really had to change…
I made the promise to myself that this would be the last time this ever happened to me.
I wouldn’t start another relationship unless I knew for sure they were good for me long-term. I committed to only dating people who were warm, consistent, and enthusiastic. I didn’t care how long it took. I wasn’t going to settle for anyone. I wanted to find the right person to share my life with.
Finding Success and Getting Closer Finding My Person
I started spotting people who didn’t want a relationship faster. I lost interest in people that ghosted, pulled away, suddenly changed their minds. I changed who I was attracted to (yes, this is a real thing). I became attracted to people who were good for me. Because of this, I started dating people who actually wanted a relationship.
Online dating wasn’t as draining because I was dating skillfully and intentionally.
I trusted my gut and listened to my red flags. I talked about my needs early on, even if that meant scaring off the wrong fit people. I only dated people who asked me questions. I had uncomfortable conversations early on to see if they were a good fit for me. When I started dating this way, I realized that I wasn't the problem. Instead, I was asking the wrong types of people.
I stopped being someone else and started being my silly, deep, and curious self. I left relationships that hurt me faster. I kindly rejected people. I got rejected a lot.
I put myself out there even when things felt hopeless. I became physically and romantically attracted to people who were kind, generous, consistent, and available.
Six months later I met the love of my life.
He’s everything I wanted and MORE. We rely on each other when life gets hard. We stay and repair things after a fight. We're silly and weird around each other. We feel safe to say no to each other. We respect each other's boundaries. We love spending time together. We have fulfilling friendships, careers, and hobbies outside of our relationship. We can't keep our hands off of each other.
Over the last year, our lives have become fully intertwined. My family and friends love him, and vice versa. We’ve gone on vacations together. We moved in together. We're engaged! We’re planning our future together. Choosing to build our lives together was the easiest decision we’ve ever made. My life is more enjoyable with him around! I am a better person with him by my side.
After the total transformation I’d been through, I was inspired to help singles who were in a similar place to where I had been. I started working with hopeless romantics who struggled to find love because they're dating people who are cold, distant, aloof, and emotionally unavailable.
Within weeks of working together, they felt more confident about their dating decisions and expectations. They started dating people who were consistent, inspiring, and ready for commitment. They know their person is out there and they know exactly how to find them.
Where I Am Today
Today, I get to help singles find their special someone to enjoy life with. It brings me joy when my clients finally find their person. They didn’t think it was possible, yet here they are enjoying their life with someone who is right for them.
I love my work as a dating coach, and every day I’m thankful for the opportunities I have to make a tangible difference in my clients’ lives.
Many of my clients are in the healthiest relationships they've ever been in. Some are planning on moving in with their partner! One is even engaged and getting married this August.
And I’m not gonna lie, being engaged to the love of my life feels pretty great too!
I am fiercely committed to helping singles realize that their search for love doesn’t have to be so hard. I believe that true love enhances your life and does not require you to lose who you are and sacrifice what’s important to you.
With my practical tips and tangible action plans, I love helping singles like you find someone special to enjoy life with.
I would love to hear from you! To learn more about how I can help you find a long-term relationship, check out my Work With Me Page or send me an email at [email protected]
On top of my personal dating experiences, my education includes…
Deeper Dating Mentor (trained by psychotherapist and dating coach Ken Page)
Behavioral Analysis and Psychology, M.Ed
Certified Life Coach
I am now in a happy and healthy relationship!
"Gabby taught me that finding the right person is finding someone who accepts you for who you are right from the start. Since my sessions with Gabby, I am now in a happy and healthy relationship, and still use a lot of the things she taught me to improve and build on it.”
I met someone really special.
"I consulted with Gabby after 2 frustrating years of directionless situationships that ended in ghosting and a realized need for change. Gabby kindly and patiently worked with me through 12 weeks (32 dates, 4 relationships, 3 breakups, and finally 1 amazing potential partner), and helped me look inward to identify what I need, and how I can advance or end relationships. From her coaching, I learned to date without waiting to be chosen. If you're feeling like I was, frustrated, ghosted, hurt, heartbroken, this is the perfect time to pursue this coaching!"
My dating life feels exciting now.
"If you feel stuck, like you’re desiring more from your romantic connections and ready for love, I truly recommend working with Gabby one-on-one. If someone told me that each session would bring about such quick and progressive change, I wouldn’t believe them, but it happens that quickly with Gabby. My dating life feels exciting now with deeper connections, honoring my gifts, and knowing that the relationship I’ve always wanted IS possible, and I have Gabby to thank for that!"
- Lizzy Z.